American Nightmare

If You're Gonna Scream, Scream With Me...

63,890 notes

DC:
Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel:
YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC:
We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel:
HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC:
The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel:
DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC:
After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel:
PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC:
We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel:
NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC:
We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel:
NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC:
We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel:
FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC:
Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel:
NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC:
Wait-
Marvel:
NEW FEMALE THOR
DC:
I didn't-
Marvel:
NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel:
TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel:
PEACE

472 notes

theoilandthegasoline:

seanpatrick68:

we-royal-wingmen:

RIDER-TO-RIDER GREETINGS

It’s pretty standard for motorcyclists to greet one another when passing in opposite directions. It’s kind of like a two-wheeled solidarity salute. Occasionally a rider will not return a greeting, which is pretty rude and just strange. I mean, it’s like someone leaving you hanging on a high-five. Usually if a rider doesn’t signal back, the odds are bent heavily in favor of that dude being on a Harley.

On this trip we invented a new greeting that we like to call “the emphatic wave.” We especially enjoy throwing this one up to guys who appear to be taking themselves far too seriously on their Harleys. It’s tough to ignore four dudes on massive Gold Wings who are emphatically waving at you.

And since we all have communication systems in our helmets, we can synchronize our wave to start all at once which hits ‘em with a blindside that they are totes unprepared for. We generally laugh for about five minutes after issuing an emphatic wave. Try it. You’ll love it.

Three …

Two …

One …

EMPHATIC WAVE!!

—Mäson

Hahahahaha!!!!!

I ride a Harley and I’ll never leave anyone hanging. However, if anyone especially four guys on Gold Wings emphatically wave at me, I’ll be sure and do the same back at them.lol.

(via warbornhonorbound)

7 notes

bigcheese327:

ratrod89:

Why the fuck are all the old cycle mechanics around here so fucking weird?

HAHAHAHA. I could have predicted that. How do you think druggie satanists get when they age? Heroin and LSD take their toll, man.

…really?